&she'sJUSTgoneCRAZY.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

YAWNS. yay, tomorrow is at last a holiday! haha. want to know something? my one week holiday is practically used up for lessons and camp. how saddening. i'm not even having much sleep lately.

actually, i had a dreadful day today. but after playing the guitar, i felt better. my dad tought me one of scorpions songs. i mean just one part of the song that i really like. haha.

kind of slow but getting the hang of it. tried playing the drums too. quite complicating for me because i find it hard to co-ordinate my hands with my legs. lol. so now, i only know the basic beats. haha.

okay, too sleepy right now.

crazy at 10:59 PM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

i really feel like chewing on something right now. haha. anyways, i really need to buck up man. =/ plus, i don't think i can blog much nowadays or even a few weeks later. but you guys know me right, i have this temptation of blogging. lol.

i didn't really slack the whole day today. i did POA homework and it's not even complete yet. and that was the only disciplined thing i did. HAH. how pathetic. other than that, i watched the telly, cleaned up the house and ate. uncivilised.

i really am determined to really do well for final year exam. well, we'll see aites. kay, i can't be long. till here, \m/.

crazy at 6:34 PM

Saturday, August 27, 2005

what happened yesterday, happened again today. why? isn't it good enough that we had accepted that we aren't in the finals? then you judges and teachers said that we were performing for teacher's day. so much for a "special recommendation", huh? WE were overjoyed.

guess that feeling didn't last. you told us to come today. we did. even last night, we planned and discussed about issues on the phone. i was on my way to the hall when i saw MOCHA standing at the staircase with mr low talking.

i already had a bad feeling about that. guess what? mr low said that our performance was cancelled. at that point, i just felt like crying. but i held back my tears. he continued babbling about the reasons why we could not perform. he said there were already too many items.

wtf. our performance is only 3.31mins long, okay? then, the most idiotic thing he said, "you all want to go swensens? this is a way for me to repay it back to you. or you all want other ways?" we perform because we want to put a smile to people's faces. we want to ENTERTAIN them.

if we can't perform, then just be it. we don't need your sympathy. he also said that he felt remorseful. well, he SHOULD BE. MOCHA put in alot of effort and it's all just so wasted. when our hopes were high, you CRASHED it.

it was kind of hard for me to accept it just now but after a while of crying, i got pretty okay. thanks to the sec 4s who cheered me up and thanks to prashant who bought for me ice lemon tea. :)

guess we're not performing AT ALL. we went to IT room 3 after that and decided to hang out with forgiven sinners. their performance on teacher's day was also cancelled. but they are performing on wednesday recess time. seeing them jamming really made me feel like playing the drums and the electric guitars.

after a while, called my mom and found out that she was just about to watch 'the maid' in the cinema. so, i rushed to GV. watched 'the maid'. so it was a singapore production. quite scary. anyways, the maid, rosna, is pretty huh. :)

i love her smile. haii, final year exam is coming up very fast. in about a month or so? yahh, around there. so, i shan't waste time now.

ps: MOCHA will still exist.

crazy at 6:27 PM

Friday, August 26, 2005

today was simply great but sad at the same time. kay, firstly, today was a half-day in school! because of chess's achievement, if i'm not wrong. so after school, had a video taking (class) for teacher's day. i got pretty pissed with those of my classmates who didn't bother to follow my instructions.

got okay when i was with azrin. haha. went to buy some accessories for the ytss idol and bought lunch. when i got back to school, changed and got ready for ytss idol. MOCHA was so united. =)) i love MOCHA.

we practiced a bit. then the time came, ytss idol semi finals. :) alwiyah sang beautifully. guo quan too! he reached the high notes correctly. so proud of them both. :)) forgiven sinners was soo cool. espeacially kong jiak! the greenday look. :)) bloody nice i'm telling you.

these 3 got into the finals. my group was specially recommended to perform on teacher's day. :)) i'm sooo happy! we could have get into the finals! well, at least there's so many supporters of MOCHA. :))

got quite a number of good comments. thanks you guys for supporting mocha! <3>

but sadly, we didn't. and i soo did not have the intention to cry or whatsoever. but i did! :( we hugged each other, you know! even though it sounds a bit ewwish (no such word), it was so touching that tears suddenly rolled down! hugged alot of people. thanks to whomever who cheered me up.

after that, found out from regi that we were performing for teacher's day. i was sooo happy! :)) so, catch us on teacher's day yeahh! THANK YOU to all the MOCHA supporters! and also THANK YOU to those peeps who screamed for me. ahaha, i'm not bragging yahh. just want to say my thanks.

i'm so happy that we can perform! haha, and i can't stop smiling just thinking about it. haha. there's a rehearsal tmr. and mom said she's going to watch 'the maid' with my BROs and me. clash.

well, that's for now. see ya.

crazy at 8:37 PM

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

again, i'm feeling tired. :/ am i weak or what? haha, I AM WEAK. school was alright till the vip lesson. i don't know what has gotten in me. have you ever felt like the world came crashing on you? and all the problems you have starting to pop up in your mind? i guess it's mood swings. oh well, even during pace programme. i totally lost my good mood.

but when we played the rough but hilarious balloon game, i cant help laughing at my classmates eagerness to get the balloon. and my hand got 'punched' by someone. a guy. lol. didn't i tell you? the game was ROUGH kay. haha.

mom called me a few times and i ended meeting up with her twice. one, outside scool and another at 7-eleven in GV. haha, the one in 7-eleven was really unexpected. i was with raudha buying tom yam cup noodles when my mom suddenly came in and said "laila!" in surprise. haha.

i saw muhammad at the traffic light near GV. my goodness, he has changed. changed for the better i mean. i still remember those times in secondary one. brings back memories when i saw him just now. glad that he recognised me and waved back. :))

went back to school for ytss idol practice. i'm getting scoldings from my mom nowadays for coming home late. haii, she still don't fully understand my situation. guess i have to bare with it.

i got home pretty late. :/ left my keyss in school man. i'm so worried sick that i'll loose it. ahh, anyways. i have to keep reminding you ytss peeps. please, please support MOCHA! be in the hall this friday at 3p.m. to see us perform. :))

anyways, i've got the attire for the ytss idol thingy. i need to change from a black v neck tee to a white v neck tee. i guess the other stuffs are pretty alright. anyway, we're going to have some sort of a chinese look because of the style of the attire. haha. so, hopefully, we don't get negative comments.

well, we can accept negative comments lar. it's to improve ourselves further right? :)) kay, till here. i'm off.

crazy at 8:51 PM

it's nearly 2 am! haha, know why i stayed up this late? because i had my art work to complete. sadly, i cant complete it. i'm too tired already. to me, my art work now is only 10% complete. lol.

hey, my art work needs alot of shading kay! oh my, mr isham has been patient with me since the day he started teaching my class. if miss ng were to teach us, she would have killed us already. haha.

i am now typing real soft because i don't want my mom to come in my room and suddenly shout at me. haha, rightt. i better go off now.

oh yahh, i'm performing for ytss idol. (in case you peeps don't know) my group name is MOCHA. so, hee, support my group ya! :)) this is to ytss peeps, just come to the hall this friday, at 3p.m. and watch MOCHA perform! kays? don't miss us! you MUST WATCH us. bring along your friends. :))

ps: yah yah, the more people watching, the more nervous i'll get.

crazy at 1:47 AM

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

feeling lethargic right now. seriously, i'm really tired right now. okay anyways, today is busy busy busy! haha. had maths lesson after school. it ended late! somehow, i just can't stand mr flinstone (most people in ytss should know who). he gave me a lonnNNNGGG lecture.

kay, i can actually stand long lectures aiite. but his lecture was simply unnecessary. he blabbed on and on. lol. well, you want to know what happen? due to my playfulness, i recorded a video of 2 lovebirds. haha, can't say who. then, ashok was playing around with me while i took the video.

and mr flinstone called ashok and scolded him instead. i stood there, feeling a sense of guilt in me. ashok, in the other hand, just looked at me with a sotong look. haha, so i just went to mr flinstone and told him that it was me who used the phone and the lecture began.

now i understand why sylvester is going oh-so-mad at mr flinstone. tsk3. i'm sorry for this short entry. i've got loads of things to do. dahh.

crazy at 8:42 PM

Monday, August 22, 2005

i'm so sleepy right now. just finished my compre and i hope this satisfaction will last through the night. lol. kay, school was okay. i had to endure this certain headache from morning till noon. it was really getting on my nerves. could it be migrain? :/ hope not.

that headache caused me to not pay attention to the lessons today! hmpf. but i did pay attention to mdm chan's lesson. (chemistry) she told 3e4 that 2 pupils improved from last term. i so wasn't thinking that one of them was me. i was more disturbed to the thought that only 6 girls passed the chem term test.

shockingly, i was one of the 2 pupils. another was azrin! :) i scored 20/30. azrin scored 22/30. even though she has big problems, studies isn't one of her problems too i guess. :) that whole thingy actually made my day.

after the lesson ended, raudha, fangxin, azrin, sharina and i went for our lunch. then we planned with the other 3e4ERS to celebrate mr ho's birthday! :) the chinese peeps bought the cake. and they kept it in the p.e. staff room. i think i played quite a cruel prank.

i told mr ho that raudha fought with sylvester and while afiq was defending raudha or something, afiq got injured. well, i really needed mr ho to come you know! haha. so, raudha bandaged afiq's elbow and his left eye. haha, it was hilarious!

before the surprise, my group and i went for the ytss idol practice. haha, our group name is mocha. lol. sounds okay lah for me. sang and sang. haha, luckily it didn't rain. so, our singing was nice. ;) support us, yeah. on teacher's day that is.

then we went out of the beethoven room and SCREAMED. haha, kelly came. kelly from the project superstar. hah. i don't even know her actually. but i feel proud to have a 'superstar' who was a former student in ytss. lol.

it was chaos man. i mean in the hall. everyone was screaming to the top of their lungs! haha. oh yah, mr ho finally reached school. and we couldn't surprise him in a proper way since the rest haven't come into the class yet. raudha got mad by that. i can't blame her. you also can't.

i guess she was looking forward to surprising mr ho. but you guys were totally obsessed with kelly's presence. that, i understand. if taufik batisah came, i would go crazy too. :)

then found out that angelin's wallet and my wallet was in the beethoven room. we left it there. careless. haha, luckily it was in the beethoven room. if not, i would have wail and cry infront of the whole school. lol. went up and down. mad lah seriously.

after i got back my wallet, went home. my mom was angry with me. the reason? because i'm always going back home late. like hello, i have important things going on right now. my ytss idol especially. but after talking to her just now, i guess she understands my situation.

kay, i'm spending too much time on this. see ya.

crazy at 10:15 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

what a day. my dad woke me up in the morning and said that i had to change fast because i was the last to wake up. like duhh, i slept at around 1a.m. plus yesterday. my family and i went to my granny's place. (in case you didn't know) i thought that it was going to be boring and all since we were cleaning her place.

the sad thing was that only my family came. :( so, obviously, my cousins weren't there. we cleaned my granny's house like mad seriously. from scrubing the wall, to washing the toilet. ewww, but i think it's worth it you know. furthermore, i haven't been visiting my granny lately.

her cooking is yummy! haha, i actually ate like there was no tomorrow. lol. haii, no matter how much i eat, i'll never grow fat. but i predict when i grow up (adult), if i eat a little, i can grow fat easily. haha. because my parents faced the same thing when they were in their teenage years.

i saw their photos. lol. my dad was skinny like me. my mom was skinny too. now, my dad is okay but my mom is FAT. haha. no offence, but that's the truth. i'm just worried that i will be like mom when i reach 30 plus. lol.

oh my, i just remembered that i have an el compre homework. gosh, i'm so not in a mood to do homework right now! haii, being a student sucks. i'd rather be a rockstar. haha.

i think i'll just copy tmr. lol. aiites, i think that's all for now. peace out.

crazy at 5:39 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

no matter what happens, please get this straight. i will always HATE doing housework. especially in the kitchen.

rightt, went to school today for mst. i've realised something. nancy has become more strict. last year, she always kept quiet when we were talking among ourselves. but now, i guess she has learnt to be a bit sarcastic. haha, i guess it is better that way because she's just too patient last year.

mst was pretty boring. so, heed and me started to take pictures by using heed's handphone. talking about handphone, i would gladly love to buy a new color phone. my 2100 sucks. i would prefer hiding it in my pocket the whole time. lol.

kay, so after the mst, hanged around outside the pe room for a while. there was one ncc guy carving an ice-cream stick using a pen-knife. haha, it kind of got my attention. and so, while waiting for the guys to come, i decided to carve the ice-cream stick into a sword.

my sword turned out curvy wurvyy. haha, oh well, i think it's quite unique even though the surface was rough. after the izwan, iman and deshun finally reached school, we went to long john and ate. so it was me, heed, jasmine, raudha, deshun, izwan, iman, hidayat and sylvester.

i love it when the whole lot go somewhere together. it makes me happy. :) after having our lunch, the guys decided to go to time zone. haha, the girls tagged along. well, we didn't regret. :) it was so fun! haha! we played racing (which includes car and motorbike) and also.. the war-kind-of-a-game.

um, shooting to be precise. haha, i love machine guns! lol. thanks izwan for paying. :) had loads of fun practically. unfortunately, raudha and i had to go for our ytss idol practice at anni's house. so, we decided to leave and go for the ytss idol thingy. actually, we hesitated. but, letting people wait for you and you never show up is something i hate to do. haha, so, we went.

there's a non-stop barking dog in anni's house. but luckily, the dog was in a room and the door was of course closed! haha. but the funny thing was that the dog ate oreo cookies! cute eh? haha. we practiced our dance steps and had a lot of laughter seriously. mandy, the joker. she laughed continously man. haha.

after a while of practicing, they said they had to go off. they were going to watch a movie and so did raudha. i really felt like watching too but since tomorrow i have to go to my paternal grandmother's place, i have to finish whatever homework by today.

sounds pathetic, isn't it? well, i have to go to my grandmother's place tomorrow to clean her place. all of my cousins will be there too so, i'm not alone. :) haha. i guess even though term test is over, i should continue studying. especially on my english. haha.

guess i better go now.

crazy at 5:26 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

second entry for today. x) i miss blogging. lol. well, just wanted to post an entry about how much of a slacker am i. tomorrow is poa term test, but i didn't study at all. hehh, i think this term (ONLY for this term), my results will go down the drain.

after i posted the previous entry, i continued using the computer. lol, sang agnes monica's songs. well, there were only 2 songs. the ones that i like. indah and pernikahan dini. (malay songs yarr) she has her own unique and powerful voice. envy, but adore her. :)

i thought about doing something daring tomorrow. since the term tests are over, i thought of shouting "yayy!" in the middle of the school field. well, i dare to but i tend to forget small little things when i'm in a happy mood.

my parents went off to johor. so, i'm free right now. ;) oh my, i still have so many things in mind to buy. money, money, money! haha. i just feel like skipping my religious class tomorrow. as in, playing truant kind of thing. haha.

my brother always do that. lol. ahh, i'm dead anyways. i haven't do my art! mr isham is gna be freaking mad. he's been patient all along. argh. i pray hard he will not be in school tomorrow. lol. aiites, it's getting late and i better sleep.

goodnight peeps.

crazy at 11:58 PM

term test week. tomorrow will be the last paper, poa. at least it's not so stressful like during mid-year exam. anyway, talking about stress. i'm stressed out right now! even though term test is going to end, problems just keep rising.

you guys would probably say these problems are nothing and it would go away. but, i guess not. okay, my problems are not as big as some people. you see, once there's too many small problems, it becomes BIG as a whole.

that's what i mean. haii, i guess life's never perfect. anyway, these problems are best if you deal it by yourself. depending on others won't make you a better person. okay, ytss idol thingy is coming up.

*wails* maluu, you know. lol. and they spelt my name 'Leila'. haha, come to think of it, it's more stylo. lol. but i HATE the pronounciation. so you guys, please don't ever call me Leila aiites. :) but for mr ong's case, it's worst. he called me raira. lol.

anyway, i don't know what's with my brother now. he's so distant with my parents. why can't he just obey them? as a sister, i'm worried. he's still in my grandparents' place in kallang. i want to talk things out with him. to make sure that he's walking on the right track again.

i really pity my parents. they care so much for my brother and my brother kept saying he wanted freedom. freedom is the cause of destruction for teenagers nowadays. right? well, i might be angry at my mom for being so strict with me at times. but come to think of it, it's for my own good.

she's preventing me from being someone bad. someone she never wish i would be. well, whatever it is, don't disobey your parents. i'll try my best to stick to this rule as much as possible.

um, the ytss ndp celebration pics, i think i have to break that promise. because i have to study my poa. furthermore, i don't think you guys are eager to view it, right? lol. kay, i'm off.

crazy at 7:07 PM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

at last! it's like a torture of not using the computer for a day! and i'm here in kallang at my brother's house. the reason? hee, for using his computer. lol. i just couldnt stand it when i cant use the computer. my computer had something wrong with the internet.

okay, i would actually love to talk about the celebration on monday in school. arrived like about 6.30am since i had HSC duty. my duty was to take care of the primary 3 students but turned out that they were not coming because pri 1- pri 3 had sports day.

instead, i have alot of duties. lol. as in, small duties. :) it was rather fun but man, it's so tiring. i was bathed in my sweat. lol, disgusting. the celebration was okay. mr teo became the 'host'. the right one! =)

the xishan performances was okay also lah. at least they put in effort. :) all the GOH were smart! heee. after all the celebration has ended, jasmine, saranya, izwan, iman, syl, fel, raudha, deshun and i take pictures. lol. it's a waste that i never brought my camera. since i'm using my brother's computer, i cant pose any pictures for now.

but i promise i'll post some pictures aiite. :) took quite alot of pictures ar. i'm going off later to the yishun ndp celebration with some other 3e4ERS. hee. cant wait to watch the fireworks. tata.

crazy at 1:43 PM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

lalala~ just feel like blogging. lame? whatever. i'll be going to school later. some hsc thingy. well, i have to carry chairs. =/ haha. never mind, i'm serving the school. lol. rightt.

you know, i suddenly feel how important friends can be. i mean the importance of friends and your girlfriend/boyfriend. or simply someone of the opposite sex that you truly love.

friends can never leave you. even though they seem so far, they are near to your hearts. they can easily meet up with you and laugh like the old times. but.. the one that you once love can't. well, it's harder. isn't it?

i guess friends are just special people that i really treasure. :) oh anyway, the family dispute ytd is OVER! yayy. lol. early in the morning, i hugged my dad. quite mad right?

well, i felt good after that. i love my parents soo much! they really can make me feel better. now my eyes are a bit swollen. due to the crying ytd. ass, shouldn't have cried lahh.

anw, now addicted with the song ghost of you by good charlotte.

the ghost of you
is all that i have left..
is all that i have left of you to hold.

hehhh. aiyaiyaiyai, i'm off to eat bread with nutella. sayonara!

crazy at 9:37 AM

Friday, August 05, 2005

MISERABLE dayy indeed. school was just okay. simply nothing to fancy about. el paper 1 was a failure i guess. i mean my story. simply bullshit lahh. when i read the question paper, i was like "wtf?!"

the 2 easiest topic was hard. know why? because i didn't know the meaning of trauma and predicament. i know i'm not good in vocabulary. that's a fact for sure. i think i'm going to fail english AGAIN this term.

so much for my target settings. lol, then my group for the ytss idol is also not that very stable. shaky, i guess. since we didn't even practice. hehh. had a short meeting just now lah.

i had a very painful stomach cramp actually. that's before i went for my religious class. so, i told it to my mom. and my mom asked my dad if he could send me instead.

and guess what? they got into a quarrel. A BIG ONE. and it's like i'm the cause of it. i should have just shut up and go off for my religious class. since i know i can't stop my dad, i stopped my mom.

for god's sake, they were shouting across the room okay. shouting at the top of their lungs! i bet the neighbours might have heard it. my mom was in tears and she hugged me. so, i tried to comfort her and i ended up crying.

i really pitied my mom. why was my dad so harsh? for what i know, my dad's character isn't like that. he changed. i just hate it when my parents are quarreling and i'm in the middle of it.

i sooo totally hate it! anw, i tried to control my tears but guess i failed. cried quite a lot in my religious class. ahh, well, i should just forget about it. *sigh* term tests are such a drag.

aiites, i'm off to watch inuyasha! :)

crazy at 10:39 PM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

colouring my first draft. there's 2 more. *sulks* i was kind of pissed with myself for not watching inuyasha ytd. lol, i know it's very lame. but sometimes, there are just things in life which you are totally obssessed with. :)

ahhh, tmr is paper 1. to me at least it's not so bad. i prefer paper 1 than paper 2. cause the fact is that i suck in paper 2. =/ anw, just cut my fringe. the last time i cut it was in.. MAY! haha. so long ago. and now it's shorter.

better, i think. li shuang, suriati, iffah and me talked about lots of stuffs. really nice to have that kind of chat you know. since we laughed quite alot. had the hsc photo taking.

it was kind of stupid lahh actually. had to wear the leather shoes and it was all not organised. kehh. so, we spent quite a long time there lah actually. some wore boots! haha.

it all ended at nearly 7pm. got a lecture from my mom when i got home. she didn't quite believe i had photo-taking. whateverness. man, there's so many things to do for art. still, i cant miss inuyasha again today!

ps: i'm an inuyasha freak, a punkrock freak and a soon-gonna-be a guitar freakk! :)

crazy at 9:14 PM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

my oh my! i actually got loads of homework to do. LOADS, kay. yet, i'm still here updating my blog. =/ oh well, it's just a short one. :)

muacks! lol.

crazy at 7:55 PM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

i'm feeling lethargic to do my homework right now. homework sucks! yeah, to the max. i'm mentally tired and i just feel like jumping on my bed. and.. SLEEP. argh. stupid, i still have art to do.

aren't they pushing us too far? i'm really getting annoyed with alot of stuffs lately. firstly, 3e4. 3e4's not a burden for me. but their attitude now is just pushing me off the edge.

then there's this problem with my english teacher. i don't wna mention who lahh. come on, 3e4 needs her. and she said she's a fool to have cared for us. even though she thinks that way, there's such thing as responsibilty to teach your students.

but still, the blame is on 3e4. -.-" exams are coming. so, it somehow panics me a bit you know. since i've not started with my revision. okay, this is MY fault aiites.

then like most teens, i face this stupid thing called love. fine, it's not stupid. but it's creating alot of problems for me seriously. when you get to know someone loves you but you don't have the same feelings for them. what will you do? continue to get closer with them and ended up playing around with their feelings?

i'm not like that. i'd rather distant myself away from that person. so that he knows i don't have the same feelings and that i don't want to hurt him. that's all. it just freaking bugs me when he tries to get close lahh. lol.

but he helps me alot. so, what the hell should i do man? feel like just confronting him and tell him the truth. arggh, i don't wna think about it lah.

and air-pistol. my target card was so saddening! i totally hate my skils in shooting. it sucks! totally!! trying to find ways to improve but looks like there's no time since the term test is very NEAR.

god damn it, i still have art to finish. fcuk it.

crazy at 9:41 PM

Monday, August 01, 2005

really busy these days but i still can find the time to blog. kehh. my dad's sick today. down with a flu and cough, i think. i really pity him. :( there are so many things to do now! aiyaiyai!

but i'm not at the stress level yet. enjoying life a bit or so la. :) bout my studies, so many things to catch up on. it's like a never ending fairy-tale. *sulks* teachers are getting MADder with my class.

i've already added a post for my classmates in multiply. i hope they'll read the entry and think about it. i can't be that long here. just that.. damn, so many things to do. lol. this is a last mintue thing you know.

anyway, i would like to declare something here. my heart doesn't belong to anybody right now. i'm serious. well, if you think i'm just spitting words, then it's up to you yeah. so to those people in SCHOOL ESPECIALLY, dun ASSUME. yar? get it? understood? well, goodie. i'm off now.

crazy at 11:19 PM